Hello lovely readers!
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the last month or so, it’s that my brain is a very effective procrastinator and the most seducing thought it likes to give me is: I’ll do it later. In the morning, my brain tells me The day is young! I have SO much time! I don’t have to do chores now. I can always do them later. And every time I try to counter with But it’ll take just a few minutes. I could do it now and it will be done… my brain draws me back into the appeal of doing the thing later.
Spoiler alert… morning turns to noon turns to afternoon turns to evening turns to night. If nighttime comes and I’ve been telling myself I’ll do it later all day, chances are VERY good that I’ll either forget to do it at all or my brain will change it’s song to I’m so tired. I’ll do it tomorrow.
There’s a mini project at work that I’ve been dragging my feet on in this way. At the close of the work day, I’ll even try telling myself I’ll just get it done after work (Hahahaha. Nope.) Then as I lay myself down to sleep, my brain freaks out a bit about the consequences of having not completed it today. I’ve been doing this same dance for about two months now on this project. TWO. MONTHS. Sure, there were plenty of times during the work day when I’d buckle down, open up the word document, do some relevant research, identify some points to include in my writing, I might even write a couple sentences and then… I’ll stare at the page thinking I can’t do this or this is hard and then when my brain offers That’s ok, take a break. We can do it later. I find it impossible to argue.
It’s so frustrating. I can be very self-disciplined in so many areas, but this one has just been a struggle. My awareness of the habit does nothing to stop it and I haven’t quite been able to pinpoint the reason for it. I have some theories and I think it may be a combination of: I’m afraid the final product won’t live up to my standards, I’m overwhelmed with where to start, and/or doing it makes me feel uncomfortable and I’m not well practiced at pushing through the discomfort. And I’m not sure yet how to tackle any of those possible causes.
And if you think I might be writing this blog post as something to do instead of doing this project that I’ve been procrastinating… you would not be wrong! Sigh.