Finding my balance: Allow me to reintroduce myself.. again

If you’ve been following me at any point over the last year and a half, you may know me as Mindful Perfectionist. You may also note that I haven’t written a whole lot in the last half a year or so. I’ve still been here; still thinking and considering and pondering and musing.

When I first chose to call my blog Mindful Perfectionist, it was with the intention of being more aware of my perfectionist habits to make a conscientious decision whether to embrace or adjust them in the moment. While I still want to do this, it doesn’t really capture all that I focus on. So here I am, trying on a new name, testing out its fit and comfort. Maybe I’ll love it and it will fade over time, maybe I’ll change and it will no longer fit, maybe in only a couple weeks time I’ll realize I was mainly attracted to the novelty of it, or maybe it will be one of those items that I get excited to wear every time I sit down to write.

So goodbye, Mindful Perfectionist. Thank you for the time we were together and all the growth and learning that has carried me to the present.

Hello, Precariously Poised. Despite still being quite a perfectionist, and therefore believing at least in part, that there is a “right” way to do things, I believe in balance. I believe in simplicity and also the richness of (intentional) complexity. I believe in practicality and also joy without further purpose. I believe in the comfort of stability and also the challenge of pursuing progress. I believe in being present in the moment as well as reflecting on the past and preparing for the future.

With all these things and more, I believe the key is finding our individual point of balance. And as much as I wish that, once we find our personal center, we could rest there undisturbed for as long as we wanted, that simply is not how life works. Even if we don’t move, maintaining balance requires constant micro adjustments, a delicate dance of our stabilizing muscles activating and relaxing to keep us upright. Even if we hold on for dear life and refuse to budge, our balance point is subject to shift with weights frequently added and removed from either side. No, alas, striking a balance is not a project we can get the satisfaction of marking as complete. It’s part of a lifelong journey. We might even sometimes to choose to fall off-balance. For a thrill, for a growth opportunity, for a test to see if we were even on balance to begin with.

For all these reasons, I think Precariously Poised describes my current mindset and place in life. More often than not, I’m seeking to find and rest in my balance points in life. And as I do, I want to remember that those are always subject to change. While I may take a brief rest, I need to keep an open mind and an adaptable spirit so that when life carries me forward (or sometimes backwards or any other direction), instead of trying to resist, I can move with the change and not be so flustered about being off-kilter.

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